life military wife

No ‘Home Sweet Home’…At Least For A While?

With the holidays in full swing…I had one of my moments today.

Am I ever going to feel like I’m home?

We currently own the house that we live in…but it will probably be the last home that we buy until Hubby decides to get out of the military and that won’t be for another 15-20 years if we’re lucky.  Some of you other military ladies must know what I’m talking about here.  The process of buying and selling a home is just way too complicated to fathom doing every few years.  :/

As an Air Force family, we are slated to move every 3 years (we’ll move more frequently the longer my husband stays in)…just around the time when you finally feel like you’re perfectly at ease with a town and then BAM!  You’re yanked out and sent somewhere new.  This can be a completely welcomed move (which when we get orders out of Dover, I can’t tell you how happy I’ll be!) or it can be sad to leave a place that you love (I’m realizing how much I actually miss living in Colorado Springs).  And yes…I knew I was getting into this when I married my husband but things never seem to get easier.

There are options as a military family…you have the option to live on base, but from everything I’ve learned, seen, and read about…it’s not always the best option.  Sure you get a home, but depending on the base…it might be really old, not in great condition, or you might have neighbors that are super inconsiderate of the fact they share walls with you.  And on the other hand, it could be completely the opposite and living on base might be great.  🙂  We’ve just chosen to not live on base so that my Hubby can have a break and not feel as if he’s at work 24/7.  We love the Air Force…but we don’t want to let it rule all aspects of our lives (no eating, sleeping, and breathing the military, lol!).

And at our next base (we aren’t moving yet…we still have a while here) we will rent a house.  And I get sad…not that there is any problem with renting…but just sad that we won’t get to make personalizations.  No painting walls, no picking out carpet, no upgrading the counter-tops to granite….no making it ours.  You can decorate all you want…but I can’t chart Mabel’s growth on her closet wall or walk into my family room 10 years from now and remember the spot where she first started to crawl.  This house will be many bases behind us by then.

I really want a chalkboard wall but I guess for now a cork-board will have to do.  Maybe I’ll just have to jazz it up with fancy thumbtacks to make myself feel better.  🙂

Ultimately ‘home’ is what you make of it…

Easier said than done, especially when you want to set down roots (not to mention how nice it would be to live by family so we’d have babysitters on hand, lol!).  But for now, we’re a military family and I’ll continue to have my moments of wondering how regular families live.  On the flip side, Mabel will get to experience places and people that she would otherwise never get to experience if we weren’t a military family.

So this is the quote I’ll have to live by for the next however many years until we get our forever home:

via

maybe it should be ‘persons’ or is it people? via

And this is what I’ll look forward to…someday when I’m in my 40’s:

A girl can dream, right?

A gorgeous older home (all fixed up of course) with a little white picket fence.  A home…our home…where I can do whatever to the walls, customize the bathrooms and create more memories that will fill the rest of our lives.

Are you a military family?  Or are you in another situation that you can relate?  Leave me a comment.  🙂

 

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20 Comments

  • Reply
    Rebeca K
    December 27, 2012 at 2:06 am

    Hi Morgan! I’ve followed your blog for a while now, I love your perspective on things! I don’t think I’ve ever commented though. Anyway, I know how you feel. I’m not a military wife but my husband and I are going to be missionaries, which means we will move every few years. We’re renting right now and will probably rent for a good portion of our lives unless we are fortunate to buy a home or build one. I would love to paint and do whatever to the walls, windows, floors, bathroom, etc, as well but thats out of the question for now. And like you I’m also sad (I’m very sentimental) that my memories with my 3 yr old daughter won’t be all in one home. But I totally agree with you that our kids (mine and yours) will get to experience other places and people that they otherwise wouldn’t be able to, and thats an exciting future with broad horizons and amazing opportunities for them 🙂
    I moved a lot while growing up because of my parent’s jobs and its a bittersweet thing, leaving places you love and friends who have become like family. Home is what you make it, and as long as you make your home an inviting and safe place for your family, it doesn’t matter where you live or what you have or don’t have. Its not about the house or the place you live in (though it important to us women), its about experiencing life with family, the people you love most. I know you are doing that and will continue to do so. Mabel is going to have such wonderful memories just because you are such a great, caring mom and will make anywhere you live a home for her and your husband. Keep your chin up girl! 🙂

    • Reply
      Morgan
      January 2, 2013 at 2:58 pm

      Rebeca, thanks so much for such an awesome comment! And you are right…home is what you make of it. I just have to work hard to see things in a positive light. I think it just hit me hard around the holidays since we weren’t able to be with a lot of family. Thanks so much for the support!

  • Reply
    {be merry} kate
    December 27, 2012 at 5:53 am

    I’m in a similar situation with my husband’s career right now. He’s currently in grad school, which is a nice 7 year stretch, but since he wants to be a professor at a university, our future is totally unknown. Once he’s done with school we’ll move to wherever he can eat a job. That will last about 1-3 years. Then we keep moving to different schools until one offers him tenure track. Then we’ll finally be settled. It could happen at the first school he goes to and it could happen at the fifth school he goes to… We’ll see! It’s not nearly as tryi as being a military wife, but I too won’t be able to have my baby’s memories so tangible!

    • Reply
      Morgan
      January 2, 2013 at 3:04 pm

      Kate, that is such a great goal/outcome of all his schooling! I can imagine that it’s rough but there is a light at the end of the tunnel! How many years of schooling does he have left?

  • Reply
    Brittany
    December 27, 2012 at 12:19 pm

    Hi Morgan!

    I know exactly how you feel. I married my husband while he was stationed in Southern California, and he temporarily got out of the military, which led us to move back “home.” Now, he’s contracting overseas, but upon his return, he’ll be re-joining active duty, and we’ll also have a 6 month old by that time. We currently own our house, which I’ve made lots of fun changes to (to keep busy while he’s gone), but it looks like our future may involve more transitions than we had planned back when we bought the house. So, we’ll be renting as well, unless we are stationed somewhere we absolutely love and can have the guarantee of this home being rented out (preferably by very capable family or friends, but we’ll see).

    But as I’m due in March, I can’t help but wonder if all of the planning, organizing, painting, and decorating (for the nursery, among other rooms) is going to turn out to be in vain? It’s definitely on my brain more so these days, simply because we’ve finally got a plan for when he returns… it’s very intimidating. But fortunately, your child will be well-traveled, and likely well-adjusted because of the transitions. It’s hard on parents who don’t have regular babysitters, but it’s neat to be able to show your child different areas of the US, and explore it, too! 🙂 (This is my positive spin on things)

    • Reply
      Morgan
      January 2, 2013 at 3:06 pm

      Brittany, I can’t thank you enough for your comment! You’ve got your hands full too! And you seem to get exactly how I feel! I guess I need to just stop thinking of all the ‘what ifs’ and plans for moving and just enjoy (or try to) where we currently are. If I keep consuming myself with the planning, I’m going to drive myself nuts, lol! I love your positive insight on all of this. 😉 Happy New Year!

  • Reply
    Amber @ Momma In Bloom
    December 27, 2012 at 2:16 pm

    Morgan,
    I can’t relate, but I really enjoyed reading this… Your perspective on things is always so enlightening and refreshing! I have a cousin whose husband is in the military (they owned a home in South Carolina, but this past June was re-stationed to GERMANY of all places)!

    • Reply
      Morgan
      January 2, 2013 at 3:08 pm

      Amber, thanks for the comment! 😉 I hear Germany is an awesome place to be stationed! Does your cousin like it? I’m just hoping we don’t go abroad until Mabel is older…it would just make it harder for family to visit/see her.

  • Reply
    Christina
    December 27, 2012 at 3:31 pm

    hey Morgan I’ve been following your blog since last November when I found out we were expecting our first child. I met my husband right before he commissioned into the army. I knew nothing about the military, and I lived in the same house my whole life. so it was quite a shock to move 8 hrs away to a state I’ve never been to before. being a new military wife experiencing the army for the first time was pretty overwhelming. on top of that we had our first child and my husband deployed during my pregnancy. something we had planned but later realized we should of waited for him to be home. ANYWAY I too experience the hope of having, what I refer to now, as our forever home =)  we bought our first house at this military post and live off base but will have to sell once we get new orders… And like you we’ll rent at the next location. I see so many cute ideas on pinterest that I can’t wait to do, but my husband is making the army a career so we have another 15-18 years. Sometimes I feel bad for our daughter because she’ll be a “military brat” like my husband was… She wont grow up with all her friends and graduate with the same ppl that she was in kindergarten with like I did. But she will get to experience new places and people, and get to travel. And when she’s ready to be on her own she always has the option to stay in one place =) so I am beginning to accept our new life, and actually get excited about all the possibilities =) one thing that’s really helping is over this Christmas break we came to my hometown and stayed with my family, which we have for the last 3 years, and my husband has fallen in love with this little beach city. So we went around and looked at some property. We found a perfect little spot about 20 mins from the beach, but a little in the county… No HOA fees lol. Paradise. So sometime next year were going to buy about an acre of land and once were closer to retirement were going to build our dream house. Kind of a consultation sine we have to spend 20 years moving around, I get to build the house ive always wanted! Even tho it’s way in the future, it helps knowing that in the end well be exactly where we want to be =) AND if we are able to build earlier, well have an amazing beach house to vacation at!! Sorry I’m super excited lol. Maybe you and your hubby know where about you want to retire… Maybe buying a little piece of heaven will help you feel like you’ll have your home sweet home too =)

    • Reply
      Morgan
      January 2, 2013 at 3:11 pm

      Christina,
      I COMPLETELY understand where you’re coming from! I grew up in a civilian household and knew nothing of the military life…so this was all so new for me! AND your comment about Pinterest…oh my gosh, that’s what started this whole post, lol! I keep seeing all of these amazing ideas that I can’t do! Oh well!
      Sounds like you found an amazing place…such a great way to have something to look forward to!

      Happy New Year!

      Morgan

  • Reply
    Amy
    December 28, 2012 at 12:36 am

    I’ve been following your blog since you were TTC and do not yet have a child of my own but I can relate as my husband and I have moved quite a bit since we were married.

    I saw this on pinterest once and thought it would be neat to record a child’s growth on something that can always be taken with you. It might be something that your husband might even be able to make.

    http://www.etsy.com/listing/112442164/oversized-wooden-ruler-growth-chart?utm_source=googleproduct&utm_medium=syndication&utm_campaign=GPS&gclid=CJWlw8qtvLQCFQtxQgodRSYA5g

    • Reply
      Morgan
      January 2, 2013 at 3:13 pm

      Amy, thanks so much for the link!!! I LOVE those…and now I just have to get Hubby to buy one for me (well, Mabel, lol!). 🙂

  • Reply
    noel
    December 28, 2012 at 12:16 pm

    I know how you feel…my husband is active duty, Navy Nuke, and we’ve lived in S.C for about four years now…but we’ve lived in 3 different houses because it was as if we were living in 6 month increments, never knowing until the last minute if we’d be staying or going. We finally got orders way in advance, will be moving to VA next November, and will be buying a house this time. So sick of wasting money on rent, at least we’ll get some equity out of the deal. The other thing about it is, thats the last move we plan to make as a military family. We’re putting off having any more children until his contract is up 4 years from now…and then we may move once more, into a forever home…at which time we’ll expand our family. My hubby and I made the decision to join so that we could get ahead in life, we made the decision to have our child who brings so much joy and purpose to our lives, and we made the decision we are not a military forever family. He missed out on too much with Rae, will miss out on more, and it’s just not in the cards for us. But I’m excited to own a home next year and I plan to decorate and design it as if we’ll never move! Because I’m sick of it too!

    • Reply
      Morgan
      January 2, 2013 at 3:16 pm

      You’ll be close to me! Well, closer in the scheme of things, lol! I want to plan things soooo badly but it’s almost impossible as a military wife. I have to learn to go more with the flow of things.

      And I’m straying from your comment but I just wanted to say that I’m in love with the outfit you put together on your post from today (Jan 2!).

      🙂 Happy New Year!

  • Reply
    grahamlove
    December 28, 2012 at 8:23 pm

    Ive seen on pinterest this giant ‘ruler’ on the wall for marking measurements of heights, which would be perfect for you guys! I’m going to include the link, but I don’t know if its going to work right.

    http://pinterest.com/pin/184929128418433957/

    If it doesn’t work, bust type “height measurement” in the search box on pinterest. I plan to use one of these whether we plan to move or not.

    Also, I was on the fence about starting a personal/family blog, but after seeing yours I’m definitely going to try it.

    • Reply
      Morgan
      January 2, 2013 at 3:17 pm

      There was another comment on this post about that ruler…and I LOVE it. Thank you sooo much for sharing and I can’t believe that I didn’t know about those!

      Please let me know when you start your blog, I’d love to check it out!

  • Reply
    Kaitlyn
    December 29, 2012 at 10:38 am

    I feel you –

    I just cried in bed the other night because I miss living in Nashville. I KNOW, I now live in the place you miss so much, and I’m sure it will grow on me, but when Ryan was stationed at Ft. Campbell, I loved living in Nashville. It’s hard not knowing where you will be in a couple years. A few months ago I was scared to death for where we would be now. We prayed a lot, trusted God, and He blessed us with Carson. The military life can be really hard, but it’s also really fun to discover new places and meet new friends (:

    <3

    • Reply
      Morgan
      January 2, 2013 at 3:22 pm

      I think it’s hard to always love where you live. Some bases/posts are better than others so when you find one that you love, it’s always hard to leave it. 🙁 Then I find myself comparing everything to the other one…I need to stop doing that, lol! At least if you get stationed somewhere that you aren’t too fond of, it’s not forever. You can always count on another pcs. 😉 And you’re right! I love the positive spin on it…you get to experience things that others don’t, get to explore new places and meet new people!

      Happy New Year!

  • Reply
    What a Difference a Coat of Paint Makes
    January 6, 2013 at 8:13 pm

    […] little over a week ago I posted ‘No Home Sweet Home – At Least for a While?’ and talked about how I was a bit sad that our current home will be the last home we own until my […]

  • Reply
    Mikayla
    February 6, 2013 at 8:18 pm

    I know how you feel. My man is in The United States Navy. Hang in there! Just know we are all going threw it together and your never alone 🙂

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