life Parenting

My Heart Broke A Little

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That’s my Mabel…my sweet little girl.

I know every parent is partial to their own child and that’s how it’s supposed to be.  You put your heart and soul into raising them, building them up, filling them with knowledge, and watching them grow.  You want nothing but the best for them and are optimistic about the future.  As parents, our children are our world.

Okay, so I’m not trying to be melodramatic…but I had one of those ‘firsts‘ today that your never quite ready for.

I’ve tried to instill a gentleness and a sense of empathy with Mabel since I want her to treat others how she would like to be treated.  It’s never to early to work on that with a child and I’m proud of seeing how she tucks her baby doll in to bed, asks for her boo boos to be kissed, hugs the dogs and says ‘I love you’ to everything and everyone.  It melts my heart.

An example of this was the other weekend when we went to the ultrasound place to find out the gender of Baby #2 (the name is still a work in progress).  She wouldn’t leave until all three ladies who worked there let her give them a hug and a kiss.

But today I got to witness my sweet little girl get pushed over in dance classOuch, I think it hurt me more than her.

There is a little girl in her class who is a bit older than the other girls in class and doesn’t quite know how rough she is.  I don’t think this little girl intends to be mean, she just doesn’t know her own strength.

Anyway, there I was in the waiting room during class watching the girls on the monitor while the instructor was helping some of the girls switch their tap shoes to ballet shoes…and off in the other corner of the room was Mabel.  Standing to herself when the bigger girl came over to her, shook her so hard at her shoulders that it knocked her backwards.  My heart immediately sank…but little things happen I told myself.  As soon as Mabel got back to her feet, the girl grabbed Mabel’s face and roughly shoved her face right into hers while shaking it at the same time and then walked away…leaving Mabel standing there alone.  I saw Mabel’s head sink down and then the crying started.  The instructor hadn’t seen any of it…and then was puzzled why my child was crying and very upset.  I had to stop myself from going in and whisking Mabel away.  And the best part is that this little girl’s mom was on her computer the entire time and not once looked up to see what her child was up to.  Had things been the other way, I would have gone into the room and quickly corrected Mabel’s behavior and made her apologize.  No this isn’t mommy wars of who is a better parent, but I really feel that certain behaviors have to be addressed right away so that they don’t continue.

Class went on, Mabel eventually stopped crying but oh my goodness…nothing prepares you to watch your kid ever get hurt or bullied.  I know this won’t be the last time something like this will ever happen;  I’m I’m sure it will happen a lot more from kids in school to breakups with boys when she’s older.  Nothing can be perfect and I can’t protect her forever but boy does it hurt as a parent watching your little one navigate through life!  I have this sneaking suspicion that this parental feeling doesn’t stop when your kiddo turns 18, does it?

Lol, I have to laugh because I’ve probably blown this way out of proportion…I’m still sad about it hours later and Mabel had forgotten about it 10 minutes after it happened!

As a side the rough little girl went on to rip a bag away from another child and jump on that same little girl while she was already on the ground towards the end of class.  Thankfully this time the instructor saw and it was addressed.  Also, I did stick around after class to explain to the instructor what I had seen on the monitor.  Like I said, I understand things happen but I’d prefer to feel that classes for 2-3 year olds be a safe place where kids can just have fun.  Hopefully next week it will be different…

Have you ever been through something similar with your child?

 

 

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7 Comments

  • Reply
    Rose
    September 25, 2014 at 9:00 pm

    Crazy you posted this today as something similar to this happened to my 20 month old at the park this evening. Two girls, probably 5-6 years old, were going down a slide and my daughter, who loves to play with older kids, was going down behind them. One of the older girls, pushed her back and then said to her friend, “We don’t want to play with this baby. We don’t like her.” My daughter isn’t even 2 yet and I know she had no idea what had happened, but it broke my heart knowing that this is probably just the first time!

  • Reply
    Amy
    September 25, 2014 at 9:32 pm

    Awww. I don’t know how I would have handled that. My heart would have broke too- but I understand it is a part of life. We as parents just have to show them how to handle those situations…

  • Reply
    Alicia
    September 25, 2014 at 10:40 pm

    This is one of my biggest fears because I don’t know how you didn’t go tearing into that room after what happened! I’m very happy that you shared this story because I’ll know to NOT jump every time something happens to my 2 year old. I think this is probably how children learn how to deal with situations too without the parents. We just finished our 2nd Toddler Two preschool class this week. It’s just a one hour class once a week and I’m with my daughter the entire time. I’ve had to correct her at least once both weeks so far to let her know that sharing was nice. When other kids come over and want to play with the games that she is playing, she holds up her hand and says “no kid, no” and that’s when I tell her that sharing is nice and that nice kids share with other kids. Thank you so much for sharing this story with us and just want to say that I absolutely love your blog! Congrats on baby #2!

  • Reply
    Big D
    September 25, 2014 at 10:42 pm

    I can’t begin to explain how I am affected by this post. I am crying as I read how my grand daughter, who is less than 3, has now had her first experience of bullying. How sad and unfair. And, how insensitive of that other little girl’s mother. Perhaps that little girl’s mother was a bully herself? I can only hope that my grand daughter will continue to grow to be the kind and gentle person she is, and not allow this experience to falsely influence her innocence!

  • Reply
    Shasta
    September 26, 2014 at 8:12 am

    Aww poor kiddo. I’m glad she got over it quickly, but boy can little kids be mean.

  • Reply
    Laura
    September 26, 2014 at 11:34 am

    A few weeks ago we were at a BBQ. My daughter is 15 months old, and she loves being around other kids. All the other kids were older than her, but she was right in the middle of everything they were doing. One girl in particular kept nudging her out of the way and telling her no, like she was doing something bad. I didn’t step in, because the word no wasn’t part of my daughter’s vocabulary yet, and it was clear that she didn’t understand the intent of the other little girl’s insistence that she butt out. But it really hurt to see another child act negatively against mine. It finally played out well when the girl stood in front of my daughter, legs and arms spread to block my daughter from getting back into their activities and my daughter took this as a sign that it was time to hug. That other girl wasn’t expecting that, and she finally left her alone!

  • Reply
    Amanda
    September 26, 2014 at 2:45 pm

    A four year old smacked my 10 month old because she touched his hair. I went all momma bear on him and scared him half to death. Then his mother came over and chewed him out. After he stopped crying he came over and apologized and hugged my daughter. I wish I would have handled it differently but it was just a shock to see someone, any age, hit my infant daughter.

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