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The Ugly Word – Deployments

October 25, 2012

Mabel and Her Daddy

I don’t normally post a lot about being a military wife.  I basically don’t want to be seen as one of those women who live vicariously through their husband’s job/rank and I can’t stand women who constantly brag about their husband’s service.  It’s something to be proud of but not to put out there and toot your own horn constantly.  Not sure if that makes any sense…but it’s just how I feel.  Anyway, onto the post:

Deployments come along with being a military family…I just thought that if I didn’t think about them, it wouldn’t happen.  Naive way of thinking, right?

We got the news a few days ago and I have to say that I’m thankful we got the notice well in advance.  I have months to prepare and plan.  Also, it’s a shorter deployment.

I can’t complain, a lot of other military wives have it worse than I do.  And I can’t stand it when people complain when there is someone else who always has more to deal with than the person complaining.  When I taught on Ft. Hood, I had Army wife friends who had 6 year old kids, and daddy had only been home for 3 of those years.  My hat is off to you ladies…

This will be our first deployment and if it were just me, I probably wouldn’t even be mentioning the deployment at all on the blog.  But it’s not just me….there’s Mabel too.

What will she think?  Where did daddy go?  When will he be back?

That gets to me.

Am I blowing it out of proportion since it will only be a few months?

We’ll get to Skype frequently so that gets me through the thoughts but with this news I’ve been trying to savor every moment of family time that we have.

And I feel guilty….guilty for needing news like this to make me cherish these moments like I have been over the past few days.  I think we all can take things for granted…

But deployments are a fact of military life and I’m going to put as positive of a spin as I can on it:  it will make us a stronger and closer family.

I love the life I live and I couldn’t be more proud of my husband.

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  • Reply
    Falen
    October 25, 2012 at 1:31 pm

    I relate to this post on so many levels! Mine isn’t leaving right, but those feelings are so familiar. Your first paragraph I agree with completely. Beyond thankful for the advanced technology of today that enables families to at least see eachother’s faces. I’m sorry he is leaving, but this statement is sooo true: “it will make us a stronger and closer family.”

    Regarding baby girl, huge hugs to her too. Praying for you guys!

    Falen

  • Reply
    Sarah
    October 25, 2012 at 2:08 pm

    Yup, my hubs just left for his 6th deployment in the last 8 years and our little one is only 3 months old. Security Forces definitely seem to be gone longer then they are home. Skype is fabulous and baby girl recognizes daddy when we talk. It’s always tough but we always manage to get through them.

  • Reply
    Julie
    October 25, 2012 at 2:32 pm

    My advice would be to accept help whenever you can or need to. Also, keep a calendar where you can mark off the days until your husband’s return. Consistently show Mabel pictures of her Daddy – that will help to keep him in her mind. If your husband’s inclined, perhaps record him, either with a voice recorder or video, reading her a book so she remembers his voice. Go to one of those stores where you can make a stuffed animal (Build-A-Bear, etc.) and have a voice chip added with a recording of his voice. These were all things that helped my son and I – he was 18 months old. Here’s a blog by a friend of mine just posted yesterday about deployments: http://morethanamilitaryspouse.wordpress.com/2012/10/24/how-i-am-making-it-through-a-deployment/.

  • Reply
    Sarah
    October 25, 2012 at 3:19 pm

    Awwww, your post made me tear up. I can’t say I have a husband in the army, because I don’t. But, my children have an uncle who was deployed to Iraq for the majority of 2011. I tried to give the best support possible for his wife and daughter. God knows I haven’t spent more than a week away from my hubby in our 10 years of marriage, and I can’t imagine trying to get through the day with him half a world away. The Skype dates were amazing. Even now, with Andy home, the sound of the Skype calls give me goosebumps. My heart goes out to military families, and I will forever be grateful. Thoughts and prayers to your precious family.

  • Reply
    Amy
    October 25, 2012 at 3:56 pm

    You are a wonderful person, Just saying!

    I will be praying for you., Mabel and Hubby.

  • Reply
    Funny Postpartum Lady
    October 25, 2012 at 7:06 pm

    Awe, deployments are tough honey. I wish you the best! I never started counting down until the half way mark. Good luck and let me know if I can do anything from afar.

  • Reply
    Ali
    October 27, 2012 at 6:17 am

    Yay for more women that don’t live their lives through their husband! Be proud of your husband but be your own person… I totally get it!

    The first deployment is always the hardest. Setting up a routine will help. Kids bounce back pretty easy. Skype will help a LOT. When my Hubs was on deployment we made little scrapbooks and projects for him. Things that kept my girls thinking of him.

  • Reply
    Brittany
    October 29, 2012 at 3:38 pm

    Deployments can be difficult, but thankfully, Skype is there to help! I’m currently pregnant and my hubs is in Afghanistan, so I’ve had to really put myself out there to protect what we have, what he’s missing, and my sanity from going through this alone.

    My advice would be to keep yourself busy (as you already seem to do!), and put yourself out there as far as friends and family go. Reconnect or make an effort at being more connected with them. I have viewed this deployment as a blessing in so many ways because I feel so loved and cared for by so many, when I was used to being a homebody with my husband and only spending my free time with him.

    It’ll all work out!

  • Reply
    Leigh
    December 31, 2012 at 5:35 pm

    Hey Morgan, just found your blog – I’m a military wife too, hubby currently deployed, and we have two little ones. Have you considered getting a Daddy Doll for Mabel? It’s a small, stuffed doll/pillow with a picture of your hubby printed on fabric, and then you can choose the fabric that makes the back of the pillow. I have no idea how they get the picture on there, I just tell people it’s magic! I put the URL for the site below, I’m not affiliated with them in any way, nor will I get anything if you order. I just wanted to let you know because I got them for my kids and it has made a huge difference for my son to be able to “hug Daddy” whenever he wants.

    https://www.daddydolls.com/store/hugahero-dolls

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