Motherhood
Is There Ever A Perfect Time?
Is there a perfect time to have a second child?
I’ve been asked a lot lately about when we’re going to try for baby number two and I honestly have no clue…probably not anytime soon for those of you wondering. 🙂
I’m the type that tends to over think everything and factors are constantly flowing in and out of my brain. Deployments, moving, I’m always tired with just one child, working on orders for the shop, staying on top of the blog, scheduling trips to see family, wanting to have the same awesome birth experience as the first time around, will I be too old, my body isn’t exactly where I want it yet…yep, I’m thinking about it way too much.
And then my top silly worry about having another baby would be not having enough time to spend solely with Mabel. That sounds ridiculous doesn’t it?
So many questions and what-ifs.
And I’ll admit, I’m kinda scared too. What about? All the unknowns. Yep, I’ve already had a baby and there are still unknowns. I’m not nervous about birth or how to diaper a baby this time around but more so learning to be a parent of two. Everyone keeps telling me it’s harder. But I’m guessing even more rewarding too.
I’ve come to the conclusion that there is no perfect time…but that whenever we decide to have another child it will be the right time and that it’s meant to be.
For now, I think I’ll be living vicariously through my pregnant friends. 😉
For you mommas with several kiddos…what’s the best advice you have for ladies about to welcome a second child?
I thought having a 2nd baby was SOO much easier! You are already experienced, know what to expect, and I wasn’t a constant wreck worrying about every little thing. I thoroughly enjoyed my maternity leave with my second child. My older daughter adapted so well and both girls did when their little brother arrived, as well. It really does get easier. Maybe not as easy to pack up and go out now that you’d be a mom of 2, but everything else really is easier and it’s soo much fun watching the kids interact with each other. It melts my heart every time!
Like you I’ve been thinking about this a lot! I’m also a military wife, so deployments are a big factor in our decision. Luckily deployments seem to be getting farther apart, and less often. (I hope!!!) I have a lot of friends with 2 and 3 kids… From the advice I’ve gathered it seems to me in my opinion once your first turns 2 it’s a good time to start trying.. They will be around three when you have baby #2. Which seems to be a great age. I originally wanted to wait till Ava was 4-5, but then what if it takes 2 years to get pregnant?! So starting at 2 is a compromise =) my husband was deployed when I was 4 months pregnant and came home when Ava was 2 months old. This time I’m doing everything I can to make sure he’s here for the whole thing! If he deploys again.. He’ll be home probably a little before Ava turns 2, but well try anyways. And if his deployment is starting after she turns 2, well wait =) but that’s our all-over-the-place plan lol. 2 kids is our limit though!!
We’ve been trying for baby #2 for a year now. I was initially worried about all those things, and thought I had the timing all planned out. Now that all my plans are down the drain, I would just be happy to get pregnant! It’s probably good not to over think adding to the family or having a timeline bc you never know how it’s going to play out! If I could go back and do it all over again I’d rather just not prevent it from happening but not try, bc the stress of trying to make it happen has been counterproductive I’m sure!
I have three kids three and under and each pregnancy I worried how I would adjust and each time it just got easier. It seemed like with each new arrival life became more laid back about the little things and more focused on just enjoying and embracing the chaos of this season in life. I love enjoy having three little loves and there is no right time to add to your family. Trust me- only one of mine was planned 🙂
I have two kids, they are two years two months and two days apart. I love the age gap between them! My two year old was old enough that she was potty trained, and independent. They play so good really well together now, with lots of sisterly fighting. We’re expecting number 3 in October. Hopefully that transition will go as great as from 1 to 2 was. My biggest problem: I only have two hands! LOL
My husband and I always knew we wanted our children close together. Our little guy is exactly 7 days older than Mabel and I am 25 weeks pregnant. My due date is August 7th. Exactly 18 months apart. I know it will be rough but we are extremely excited. We are having another boy so the idea of him having a brother to be close with, competitive, best friends. They will go through school together & play sports together. They will always have each other to experience life with. Even the pregnancy has been hard. He was 9 months old when we started trying and got pregnant first try. The first trimester I regretted our decision but it has gotten easier. He will pull my shirt up & point at my belly. He knows there is a baby in there. I’ve had all the thoughts/regrets of feeling like I won’t have enough time with just him but at the same time, being able to watch them grow up best friends will be so rewarding!
I’ve been grappling with the thought of having a second child as well. I can totally relate to all your questions and doubts! Especially with the question about enough time spent with my first and ability to share my love between two instead of just one. Don’t have the answers 🙂 but looking at my daughter, I just know it in me that I want another child, I want to experience motherhood from the beginning all over again and the most important, for my child to have a sibling. You can do it! <3
Jam
http://www.amommiam.blogspot.com
What caught my attention with this blog was actually the picture. How true…perfection conditions just aren’t a reality. But life is still a joy nonetheless. I believe, when the timing is right, you and your husband will feel so strongly about going for baby #2.
One thing I know for sure – I have never heard anyone say they wished they had 1 less child…it is usually the other way around.
~Katie