I’m a Sisterhood of Motherhood Partner but as always my thoughts are 100% my own.
There’s no sugarcoating it…motherhood is hard. And without support it can be even harder.
I know this all too well. With Mabel, I’ll be the first to admit I was in a bit of shock after delivery and the title of motherhood had been bestowed on me. I felt a bit overwhelmed, nervous, and somewhat inferior like I wasn’t the best mother that I could be (read about my breastfeeding challenges here). I just wanted the best for my daughter.
I didn’t have a bunch of close friends (we had just moved to the area a few months prior to Mabel’s birth due to my husband’s military career) and we didn’t have local family for support either. So when I met with challenges such as difficulty breastfeeding and simple things such as getting a break here and there, I didn’t have anyone to help offer advice or help. BUT being a blogger, I’ve met a ton of great women online and I was able to seek out help through the online community (I still owe a lot of you readers for your support!).
I still to this day remember being completely wrecked and sad about how breastfeeding hadn’t worked for Mabel…and how there was an email waiting for me in my inbox one day. I was almost hesistant to open it since I had received a handful of comments basically telling me I hadn’t tried hard enough to make things work or that I was somehow a lesser mother because I hadn’t breastfed her (not sure what the intention of the commenters were…to make me feel bad or make themselves feel good?). But upon opening the email, it was from a momma spilling her heart to me and telling me that she had had similar issues…and that I was a great momma for doing what I needed to do to feed my daughter. She had said I didn’t need to be so hard on myself and that my daughter was healthy and happy because I was doing what I needed to do.
I don’t think that momma knew how badly I needed to hear that message she had shared.
I had been desperate to know that I wasn’t alone, that others had gone through the same thing, and that I was still a good mother.
It truly is amazing how a little bit of support can go such a long way and I really can’t thank her enough for the boost that she gave me.
Now…with my second child, Millie, things have been different. I have friends at our new base, an even larger community of support online (I’m very thankful for you ladies!), and we are closer to family. I have the confidence that I lacked when Mabel was born and haven’t felt overwhelmed as many times (who doesn’t feel overwhelmed when realizing how much cleaning needs to be done after having a newborn home for a week…the laundry just piles up, lol!). Breastfeeding is even going smoothly this time around. What a difference each pregnancy/baby makes. 🙂
So take a second and if you know a new mother (or any mom), maybe consider giving her a compliment, offer support in anyway you can (even helping with a smallest thing can make a huge difference), or better yet, tell her she’s doing a great job and is an awesome mother. It might just be the one thing she needs to hear that day.
What a wonderful post, Morgan. I hope your message finds its way to the many new moms out there going through similar challenges, who could also use some pep talk. You have true courage to speak out as you do, so please know there are those out in your audience who appreciate your candor. Best wishes and congratulations to you and your husband on Millie’s arrival, Ardith